Hoarsefrog’s Weblog

     Hello. My name is Hoarsefrog and I am a compulsive meeting attender. (Hello Hoarsefrog!)

     I attended my first meeting when I was twelve to plan a car wash to raise money for my church youth group. This was the beginning of my life as a meetings  junkie.

     Throughout college I attended meetings. I thought it was part of becoming sophisticated. I went to a Swiss Family Robinson reunion and fell out of a tree house. The meeing continued without me. What an insult!

     One problem with meetings is that you can be elected to an office. Another hassle is the agenda. Who has the agenda? When discovered, it is not followed. The minutes foul up the meeting. When read they need to be corrected leaving the secretary in tears.

     Evening meetings are difficult. There is little time to eat, attend PTA, church, board and athletic meetings that end in time to sleep and get up in the morning for the meeting of the Early Rise and Shine club.

     The best meeting I ever attended was when a deaf dog wanderd in and I growled at him and he barked at me. This started a howl of laughter.

     Then I found Meetings Anonymous. It was a snowy night and the meeeting of Fathers Against Dumb drivers (FADD) was cancelled. I saw a light in the building and heard a group chanting “I am powerless over meetings.”

     I went to the meeting and Leo said he went to three meetings a day until he got a sponsor and attended one meeting a day. Sarah said she survived twenty days without a meeting and the group applauded. George slipped and went to meetings three days in a row. Dwight declared  that a meeting addict could start over by misssing one meeting at a time.

     I was asked to make a list of all the peopleI I neglected by going to meetings. My list filled two notebooks.

     I returned the following night and was asked to make amends to everyone I harmed by going to meetings. This was painful. It’s hard to kick a three meetings a day habit.

     I got a sponsor. I called Mary and told her I was tempted to go the the April Fool’s Day Planning Committee meeting. She asked me what I would gain by by going to the meeting. I said, “Well, not much but a headache.” Mary asked me what I would gain by not going to the meeting. I said, “!’d have my llfe back. I could see my family and friends, read a book, go to a play and relax.” MA has one principle wich is to stop going to meetings including gatherings of Meetings Anonymous.

     When tonight’s meeting is over, I’m outa here!